Love and sex go hand in hand. Although they aren’t always mutually exclusive. Being in love can most certainly intensify any sexual relationship you have with someone. Being in love can be intense, passionate and fun. But it can also be heartbreaking. Some fall in love often, others not so much. Some wait until just the right person comes along and others have missed opportunities.
I unfortunately was one of those missed opportunities. When I was younger (say 21) I had met this guy who I instantly connected with. We had great chemistry, were great friends and went on a few great dates, I had an amazing connection with him, he felt the same. It was one of those indescribable connections. Timing was unkind and he had been relocated to London. By the time he returned to the US I had met someone new (who I was most certainly not in love with, and now that I look back, never was) and our opportunity to re-kindle our romance was tangled up in bad timing and unfortunate circumstances. Jump forward a few more years, I had left my ex and now it was his turn to be in a relationship with someone, only this time he was getting married. Yet again our timing was terrible. I struggled with this relationship, even though we never really had one beyond friends and few dates. I constantly compared the connection I had with him to every guy I ever went out on a date with. I wanted to find that same connection again.
After two and a half years of being single I sincerely thought that I would never find that connection again. Maybe you only have one chance to meet your soulmate and when its gone its gone. I thought I lost that opportunity, gone away with bad timing.
But then everything changed. Your perspective can change in an instant. Your ideas about everything can be altered in a moment of clarity. When I met my current boyfriend it was a great time, he’s funny, tall and not like most guys I’ve met (he’s also foreign). We went out a few times, and then we had sometime apart (stupid mistake I made, but we worked it out after a month). After we worked everything out we were practically inseparable. The sex is amazing, we have fun, we laugh, we’re both completely comfortable around each other and I feel like I can be myself 100% around him. I quickly started falling, and before I could even process my own feelings, he told me he was in love with me. Everything happened so quickly! Less than 2 months together and these amazing feelings were being felt! Timing was yet again my enemy. He wasn’t staying in Chicago. He was moving 20 hours away back to South America. Crushed again and thinking that yet again I would be missing out on another connection (that I initially thought I would never find again and yet lo and behold I found it! lucky me!).
But I’m taking a leap of faith. I’m taking a plunge, making a plan and sticking it out. After a lot discussion, we agreed that we can’t be apart. So giving long distance love a chance was all that we could do. Technology is amazing today, we have the ability to Skype and text across the world in just a moments time. And before I know it, it will be April and I can visit and spend two happy weeks with someone I’m crazy about. Goodbyes are often sad but they’re not always forever. Months will fly by and then I’ll be able to pack my bags and my dogs and hop on a plane and take a chance and the biggest most exciting adventure of my life and move to a different hemisphere.
These things haven’t happened yet, but I’m getting all the flack in the world for it already. “You don’t know him!”, ” Its happening so quickly!” “What will you do when you’re there!” “Are you sure that you want to go around the world for a boy!?”.
Its scary, its invigorating, its risky. But if it all works out….its worth it. Moving around the world forces me to do amazing things, things I’ve always wanted to do but never had the courage. Taking a chance, making a huge change and giving myself the opportunity to succeed and not get stuck in a cycle of routine and fear. Love is definitely a part of it (and great sex doesn’t go on the con list for moving to another country), but in all reality, this move is for me, to have an adventure. To start over and try something way outside my comfort zone. To give love a chance but also to give myself a chance at doing what I want career-wise and life wise!
So how far would you go for love? Would you take the leap and jump in, eyes closed not knowing how deep the water is?