I used to be one of those people that said I would NEVER EVER EVER do online dating. That it wasn’t a good way to meet people or it was just filled with creepers. Now keep in mind this is probably 5-6 years ago when online dating was not nearly as popular as it is now. I mean come on…5 years ago…I didn’t have an iPhone. But after I ended my 4 year relationship, and technology/internet dating had come so far from what it was before. So I gave it a shot, I tried a few different sites (OK Cupid, Plenty of Fish, Match) with a variety of luck ranging from some potentials to some of the worst dates in my life. I went through phases of liking online dating and hating it with a passion by deleting all my profiles and vowing never to join again. But of course I would end up back on it and give it another shot. Online dating is a funny thing, I think it is a great thing to give a chance (if your single). In the three years after my break up and being single, dating around here are some things I learned about dating (online…and not)
- Be happy first. When you’re happy with your job, yourself and everything else in your life thats the best time to meet someone. Its more like icing on a delicious cake when you’re already happy!
- Don’t try so hard! I went through times where I was feeling super lonely (especially in my first round of online dating adventures) and was setting up dates with guys I wasn’t even attracted to. Once I stopped trying to hard meet someone, I met someone.
- You’re allowed to be a little picky. Thats the real beauty of online dating. If you know you like redheads you can search for redheads. You want someone tall…well there ya go! And if out of those options you don’t find someone then you can expand your search. I like tall guys, I went out on a few dates with guys who were the same height as me
Lied about how tall they werebut to me tall is incredibly attractive as I’m pretty tall. And I stuck it out, and I found my guy (he’s 6’6″!) So it was totally worth it for me to be a little picky.
- Don’t take yourself too seriously. A lot of times we are trying so hard to impress that we’re not acting like ourselves. We all do it, I was not myself at all when I started back in the dating scene. But then I was like…well fuck that! I’m just going to be me. In the end it worked out better for me to be myself then trying so hard to impress someone I barely knew.
- Know if your friends are on the sites your on. It seems silly, but it really is a good thing to know. My best friend and I had both set up a date with the same guy (he cancelled on both of us, but then ended up dating her for a little bit). Also a guy I dated for a bit messaged her…even after he had already met her. Knowing who your friends have gone out with or whats going on with their online dating is important to keep your friendship in good standing.
- Don’t get discouraged. It takes time sometimes to find someone! Usually it happens when you least expect it, or when you think something isn’t going anywhere. Then voila! You’re in love and planning a future! Its better to wait for the right person to come along, than to settle with the first person you like.
I spent three years single, learning who I was, getting back my confidence, overcoming all the bad energy I had gotten sucked into for four years. In the course of that three years, I dated, had flings, and made some of the best girlfriends I could ever ask for. And in the end I was so happy with my life before I met my boyfriend that he was definitely the cherry on top to a great life already! Now I’m on cloud nine!