Patience, Relationships and Expectations

Happy day! I’ve had 2000+ visits to the blog! and only in a few short months. I would love love to have that happen EVERY day! But one day at a time my friends! Hopefully by the end of the year I’ll be having constant traffic over here at The O Guide!

As much as I want this blog to be perfect, its far from it. Its got a long way to go and I’ve got lots of plans in the works to get things where I want them to be! Just as with much of life, it sometimes takes a lot of patience, money and time in order to get things just how you want them. And not all are readily available at any given moment. But patience is always something you can learn to have and learn to accept things that you can’t change.  It applies to relationships too.

I’m not going to lie. I am not a very patient person. I’m a planner, I dont like it when my plan isn’t going…well according to plan. Or the timing isn’t as quickly as I’d like it to be. Or there’s no way for me to plan because things are up in the air. For me, I base a lot of different things on my plan, mostly finances. I will calculate things down to the very last penny and figure out exactly how much time it will take me to save for something. Its one of the only things I’m meticulous about. When you’ve lived a good portion of your life being broke as a joke, well you learn to be stingy and frugal. Even with my good paying job, I’ve gotten very relaxed with my frugal-ness, but now its back to being tight on my budget! But beyond just money, I think its always a good thing to learn some patience (even if you already have some, but maybe could use some more??) Because patience can affect so much more than your wallet. Your relationship with your partner, your family, your friends and even your relationship with yourself can be affected by your patience or lack thereof.

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For me it can be challenge to have patience when it comes to certain things. But I have made it a priority to have realistic expectations. We sometimes get the idea that a relationship,whether it be with a friend or significant other, is supposed to be a certain way or perfect. But realistically? No one is perfect, relationships aren’t perfect. And expecting your friends or partner to be perfect is well…unrealistic. Accepting that things aren’t always going to be a certain way is a good first step. Knowing that your partner is going to make mistakes (and you will too!) or that you’re going to have times where you wont get along well help you to keep your head focused. For me, I know that being in a long distance relationship is increadibly difficult. And I know that it gets harder as time goes on, knowing those things, allows me to take a step back and recognize what is really important. Yeah, we may fight somedays and other days it may be really hard on me, or some days we may be fantastic, but all in all its about knowing that no matter what happens we have each other (even 6000 miles apart).

I often times tell my friends, you can’t expect your partner not to go out without you, or have them not enjoy themselves because they’re doing something with the boys or because you’re having a bad day. Its not fair to them, and ultimately its not fair to you too. Because when you have these high expectations of your partner, it can lead to resentment and arguments, gives you added stress and hightened emotions. But if you approach a boys night or whatever the case may be as, my partner is going out, having a fun time, and I’m glad that they can do that! And lucky me, they come home to me in the end! This is where communication comes into place. You really have to be able to communicate with your partner. What activities make you uncomfortable, what your ok with. For example, I know that when guys go out, there are bound to be girls around, especially if there are single guys in the group. I could get super upset and throw a tantrum, but I know that my boyfriend wouldn’t do anything. I trust him enough to know that he wouldn’t. He knows that it would end our relationship if something did happen, I’ve made that very clear. But I also can’t expect him to sit at home every weekend while his friends go out because I know there are girls around, thats just cruel and unusual punishment. Everytime I go out, there are guys that approach me too, but I would never do anything. Its all about respect, communication and trust.

Learning to be patient is challenging. But I think, at least for me, alot of learning patience is learning how to let go. I know I want things to happen in a certain timeline, a certain way and according to a specific plan. But life doesn’t work in the way you plan it. Often life’s most exciting things happen when the plan goes astray.  Believe it or not, I’ve really tried to stop planning. Yes I make some plans, make some lists and have some path of getting to where I want to be or at least a goal in mind. But I’ve spent the last few months letting go of my plans and focusing on what’s happening now, where I’m at now and what I’m doing in the moment (or at least what I’m doing for the week). Somethings yes, I have to plan, like buying a new bed or selling my couch and finding a replacement, because those things cost money and I have to ensure that I have that money at the ready. Everything else though? I’m trying to let go of my plans and let things happen as they do. Because ultimately the universe doesnt revolve around my plans…its going to do whatever the fuck it wants whenever it wants, whether I like it or not!

 

Are you a patient person? Do you hold your partner to high expectations?

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