Foreplay Fridays!

So last night, I decided it was about time to sort through my books, and widdle down my collection. They’re really just sitting under my bed and haven’t been touched since I moved into my apartment…kind of pointless. Half of them I haven’t read or the other half I’ve read at least once or twice. Getting rid of ohhh…about 100 books, means I get to buy new ones right!?

Ignore the dog beds and blanket....they were in tossing distance...clearly.

Ignore the dog beds and blanket….they were in tossing distance…clearly.

In my mad scramble to be rid my underbed boxes of books I no longer read…I came across a sweet little find! 269 Sex Games! Score! That went right into the save pile because you can never have too many sex tip books!

This morning while I sipped on my coffee, I took a gander through it to see what kind of nifty ideas I could get for the blog! I am only just so creative people…my brain only holds so many sex themed ideas when I, myself, am not enjoying said sex.

Some of the ideas in the book were great! And then others…not so much. So today’s post is

FOREPLAY DON’TS!

(I mean I guess some you could do….but….I don’t know if I’d recommend them)

Here are some of my favorite donts! directly quoting from the book…

  • Have your man use his penis to stir your drink, then place it in your mouth so you don’t waste a drop. (Yum! Bartender! I’ll have a Vodka Penis please!)
  • Make a sundae on your lover’s genitals or breasts using your favorite sauces, fruit and whipped cream. Decorate with nuts or sprinkles and don’t forget the cherry! Then dig in! (Ok you should not be putting Sugar near your vagina…its asking for trouble)
  • Work out sexual activities you can do with the following: eight rubber bands, soap and a bicycle pump. (random much??)
  • Stimulate each other sexually while sitting in the back of a taxi. (although I know this happens a lot…so does people puking in the back of cabs)
  • Make sandwiches and include a photo of yourself naked in the wrapping. (nude photo ok…sandwhich wrappings? like a package of ham?)
  • Organize a cocktail party for two and use different parts of the body to hold the drinks. ( I didn’t know a vagina could hold a martini glass…)

Do you have some other Foreplay Don’ts? Share them in the comments!

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