Keeping the Romance Alive During the Holidays!

Romance

The holidays are stressful. We are planning and attending holiday parties, spending lots of money on food and gifts. Decorating, baking, cooking, traveling and shopping. It can easily become overwhelming, stressful and sometimes romance can get put on the back burner. We spend so much time thinking about other people that we forget ourselves and our partner.

At the exact same time the holidays can be increadibly romantic. I’m seriously expecting at least one or two texts from friends getting engaged, and I’m sure a Facebook feed FILLED with engagements. Although I myself am not expecting a sparkly rock on my finger for Christmas and I’ll be acros the ocean from my love, its still our anniversary this month. And remembering to make our relationship a priority (even more so than normal) is important during the holidays.

So what can you do!?

  • First things first, start with yourself. Its not going to be romantic if you’re practically pulling your hair out because you have about 300 cookies to bake tomorrow. Try to set aside at least one night a week to not do any holiday planning and prep. On this night, try to either focus on yourself for some relaxation or on your partner.  Here’s a few ideas for your night off!
  • Take a nice bubble bath. Complete with candles, wine and maybe some music or a movie. I watch movies while I’m in the tub, or else I spend 2 hours filling up the tub (my plumbing is terrible) and only 20 minutes sitting in there. A movie keeps me from getting too bored.
  • Take a walk with JUST your partner through a really lit up neighborhood. Lots of neighborhoods will deck out the street with crazy light displays. Although your kids will like it too, try going with just your partner, get a sitter for an hour or two and enjoy some time alone. You can also drive if its too cold. In Chicago, the Lincoln Park Zoo has Zoo Lights, a walk through the decorated zoo is a great date!
  • Another great date idea for you and your partner is to find an ice rink! In Chicago they are EVERYWHERE! Even if you don’t know how to skate, its a great opportunity to learn (or fall together!)
  • Find a cozy bar and have a cocktail. There are SO many bars that have a really cozy atmosphere with plush couches, fireplaces, and decorated for the holidays. Have a drink with your partner to unwind from the stress of the holidays.
  • Sit down and make some goals for 2015 together. Even though it doesn’t seem to be something romantic, be sure to include some romance on that list! Whether it be go on a date night each week. Plan a romantic getaway. Or to have sex at least 3 times a week. Just talking about some fun and sexy goals that you can do TOGETHER is a great way to remind yourselves to keep your relationship on the list of priorities.
  • Plan a sexy surprise for your partner. This is by FAR one of my favorite things to do. Does your partner have a fantasy that you’ve never really had the opportunity to play out? Maybe they have a favorite outfit that you very rarely wear that always gets them rearing to go. I have such a stockpile of lingerie and I know my boyfriend loves it when I wear certain types of heels. Even if its just after the kids go to bed. Light some candles, toss on something sexy and invite them to join  you! Let me tell you, I’ve never seen a man finish his work so quickly in my life.
  • Give the gift that keeps on giving. This may not strike a cord with everyone, but adding sex toys to your bedroom can really be fun, a great way to connect, communicate and can help increase intimacy between partners. Did you also know that 71% of men are open to using sex toys with their partners! Thats a majority of men who are open to the idea of sex toys. But if you’re not sure, the key is to communicate. Don’t just introduce one without asking! Suggest bringing a smaller toy like a bullet into the bedroom to try together! If they’re up for it! Take a trip to buy one together, or shop online together. That way you can both choose something you’ll both enjoy. 
  • Take a night off from cooking. Go out to a romantic dinner. Get dressed up, wear makeup, act like its your first date! Putting a little more effort into your date (like when you were first dating) can go a long way!
  • Give each other massages! Or go get a couples massage. What better way to relax than a massage. If you’re not super skilled as a massuese, try massage aids like gloves, heated pads and hand held massagers!

Got some other great ideas for keeping the romance alive during the holidays? Share them with me in the comments below! 

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Foreplay Fridays (Long Distance Style!)

I have been in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR) for almost a year. Come January it will be a year. And I can tell you it is not easy. In fact its probably one of the hardest things to experience, but in the end its worth it. Communication is challenging when you’re in different time zones, on different schedules and ultimately trying to live your lives separately while still staying apart. And there are tips galore out there on how to keep things alive in a LDR. Even I give you my own Tips to surviving a LDR. But how can you keep the romance (and your sex life) alive from hundreds or even thousands of miles away!? If anyone tells you its easy…they’re lying.

If you take one thing away from this post, take this:

No couple is the same. What works for others might not work for you. 

Coming off that…there is no right or wrong way to have a relationship long distance. There’s things that are important for maintaining a good healthy relationship (like communication and visits when you can) But as far as a sexual relationship thats really up to you and your partner.

I personally am at odds with Skype sex and phone sex. I feel silly and funny doing it, not sexy and arousing at all. But others think its great and have a blast doing it. You have to talk to your partner to decide what works best for you. Maybe its the anticipation of seeing each other (even if it means its months apart) or maybe its taking care of business alone until you can be together again.

Here’s some things to try:

  • Phone sex!
  • Skype Sex!
  • Send private videos and photos (try Snapchat if you don’t want them stored on your phone)
  • Send sexy text messages
  • Take care of business on your own!
  • Try to schedule a rendevous with your partner as often as you can! (meet in the middle if its easier!)

The only real advice I can give is to try a few different things out, talk about it with your partner and see what works best for you. Because what works for you might not work for someone else!

What tips do you have for keeping your sex life healthy when you’re in a long distance relationship?

Foreplay Fridays! Fall Date Idea!

The last two of my Foreplay Friday Fall Date Ideas were outside adventures. I don’t like nature, I’m not outdoorsy and I don’t do cold. Although I did do the Corn Maze last year and it was super fun, but damn that shit was cold! This time around I’m giving you an INSIDE idea! Complete with blankets, snuggles and prime opportunity to get busy!

Have your own little indoor movie night, complete with candles, movie treats, blankets lots of pillows and a fire (if you’ve got one, if not just pretend! Or turn up the heat haha)

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Send the kids to Grandma’s or a for a sleepover at a friends and take the opportunity to pick some of your favorite movie and set up a whole pillow bed on the floor. When was the last time you made a fort? Think of it as a fun way to do something different, have fun and get close to your partner. Snuggle anyone? With pillows, blankets, spiked hot chocolate, popcorn, treats and perhaps a romantic (or scary if thats your thing) cuddle up with your partner and watch a movie! Make your at home dates special. Even if it seems to be the most mundane thing you could do, give your self the opportunity to create a special memory. Remember when you used to “watch a movie” but never really remember what happened because you were too busy making out!? Create an environment that asks for a sexy fun makeout session (just be careful not to fall asleep half way through the movie!).

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Before you know it you and your partner will be comfortable, relaxed and in full on makeout before you make your way to the bedroom. Well maybe you don’t even need to make it to the bedroom considering you’re going to be set up on the floor filled with pillows and comfy blankets!